


Tangled

by Lunar_Pull



Category: Big Bang (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Cheating, M/M, Multi, Romance, Threesome - M/M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-26
Updated: 2014-07-26
Packaged: 2018-02-10 12:49:49
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,975
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2025720
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lunar_Pull/pseuds/Lunar_Pull
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's complicated, dangerous and strange.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Tangled

The club looks different in the daylight. At night, the place thrums with bass-heavy club music and the clubbers lose themselves in it, intoxicated by the alcohol and the garishly-colored spotlights. In the day, though, the club is just another building, another bill to pay, another worry in Seunghyun’s mind.

 

He bought the club when he first moved to the United States, rejected by his friends and family because he was foolish enough to fall in love with a man. The club, with its exotic male dancers and exceptional music, became successful rather quickly and Seunghyun and his teenage love had been married the following Fall.

 

Daesung is perfect. Endowed with a rock hard body, generous lips and a head of thick, brown hair. They’ve been married for five years and his devotion to Seunghyun only grows with each passing day. He doesn’t work. He stays home; cooks, cleans, gives the perfect blow jobs. He takes care of Seunghyun with his impossibly bright smile and his honest love.

 

He is perfect.

 

Perfect. Perfect. Perfect.

 

Seunghyun sighs as quite possibly the least perfect person in the world strolls into the club, forty minutes late to the rehearsal and drinking an iced coffee leisurely.

 

“Youngbae, you’re late. Again.”

 

Youngbae narrows his eyes in response. “Sorry, boss. Won’t happen again.”

 

The acid tone in his voice is downright rude and though his words are seemingly apologetic, his attitude makes it clear that he is not sorry and it will happen again.

 

Seunghyun watches as he downs the rest of his coffee, entranced by the movement of his throat as he gulps.  He can’t help but notice that Youngbae has dyed his signature mohawk blond, even though his contract clearly states that he needs to confer with Seunghyun before drastically changing anything about his appearance. It looks damn good though. The clients will love it.

 

Youngbae takes his sweet time before hopping up on the stage and joining the other dancers.

 

He is a handful. Youngbae is a short man but what he lacks in height he makes up for with his muscular body and his brazen attitude. He doesn’t give a fuck what anyone thinks. Especially not Seunghyun.

 

He never comes to rehearsal on time, he always causes trouble (Seunghyun can’t even count on both hands the amount of times one of his ex-boyfriends has showed up at the club, desperately trying to find him or kill him) and Seunghyun would have fired him years ago except that the ungodly way he moves his hips and shoulders is part of the reason the club is so famous.

 

Youngbae is a star. A fucking disrespectful little son of a bitch, but a star nonetheless.

 

He’s also gorgeous. Youngbae’s body is a work of art and his face is unbelievable. He’s got a wicked smile and a sharp jawline. His eyes are intense but when he laughs too hard, they turn into little crescents that make him seem like an innocent little boy. His lips are full and luscious; they always look like they are raw from kissing. They probably are.

 

Seunghyun tries to concentrate on watching the rehearsal, but it’s difficult because Youngbae is beautiful and he’s being an annoying little shit. Seunghyun feels his blood boil at Youngbae’s newest form of distraction. He purposely disturbs the relatively easy dance practice by flirting shamelessly with his friend Jiyong, grabbing him and pulling him close even though he knows that Jiyong only ever dances with his boyfriend, Seungri.

 

“Get the fuck off him, slut,” Seungri’s voice is deadly calm and Youngbae only smirks at him, obviously pleased as hell that he’s got him all riled up.

 

“Youngbae, come here,” Seunghyun’s deep voice rings out across the room and the dancers quiet down. Youngbae hops down from the stage and slowly walks towards his boss.

 

Seunghyun grabs him by the arm as soon as he’s near enough and pulls him into an empty hallway. Youngbae doesn’t protest. Just rolls his eyes like he’s tired of the whole thing.

 

“What the fuck is your problem?” Seunghyun says, when they are alone and out of the earshot of the other dancers.

 

“Nothing,” Youngbae grins.

 

“You’re being obnoxious on purpose,” Seunghyun says. “You know Seungri gets jealous.”

 

“So?” Another scathing eyeroll.

 

“So you’re more than a half an hour late and you’re not even doing your job. And what is this bullshit?” he asks, grabbing a tuft of Youngbae’s bleached hair.

 

“It looks sexy and you know it,” Youngbae says, wincing at the way Seunghyun’s hand is threaded into his hair. He presses closer.

 

“That’s not the point,” Seunghyun grits out, his anger making him lash out and push Youngbae into the wall.

 

“I don’t even need to be here. I don’t need to practice. I’m bored,” Youngbae says, pushing Seunghyun back with much more force than a man his height has any right to have.

 

“Bored, huh. What can we do to fix that then?” Seunghyun asks, because he can never be this close to Youngbae and not touch.

 

“Blow me,” Youngbae says, a feral look in his eyes and a teasing smile on his lips.

 

“Fine,” Seunghyun responds, clicking his tongue like it’s just another chore but the truth is, he’s been drowning; unable to breathe properly or even think until Youngbae walked into the room. “Go to my office.”

 

“No,” Youngbae says as he wraps his arms around Seunghyun’s shoulders and kisses him fiercely. No patience or finesse. Just raw desire. “I want it now.”

 

“I’m not gonna blow you in the hallway,” Seunghyun says between sharp kisses. Despite his protest, he groans because Youngbae’s hands are already in his pants and his mouth has found that one spot on Seunghyun’s neck that makes him stupid and needy.

 

“Blow me or fuck me,” Youngbae’s voice is a whisper at his ear, raspy and oddly soothing, and Seunghyun doesn’t know whether he wants to murder him or worship his body forever.

 

No one drives him as crazy as Youngbae. No one makes him as unreasonably angry and no one makes him as achingly hard. Not even Daesung.

 

An image of Daesung’s sweet smile blooms in his mind and Seunghyun feels the familiar nagging sense of guilt. He stops Youngbae’s hands.

 

“We can’t do this anymore, remember?” Seunghyun says.

 

“Were you serious this time?” Youngbae smiles, amusement dancing in his eyes because this affair is tearing Seunghyun apart but it’s just a big game to Youngbae.

 

Seunghyun wants to be indignant, he wants to tell Youngbae to fuck off and stop ruining his marriage with his panting breaths and arching back. He wants to end the affair.

 

But not as much as he wants to have Youngbae impaled in his cock and writhing, begging for more and more and harder, Seunghyun, just like that.

 

“Your husband’s here.”

 

Seunghyun all but jumps away at the sound of Seungri’s voice. The young dancer is tapping his foot impatiently but he grins at the scene. He’s caught them, and he’d probably have some leverage against Youngbae if the dancer gave a damn.

 

“Hey,” Daesung says as he rounds the corner, his husky voice fraught with concern. It makes Seunghyun feel like the scum of the earth.

 

“Hi, sweetheart,” Seunghyun says, instinctively opening his arms to welcome Daesung. His heart is pounding in his chest and he worries that Daesung will hear it. “What are you doing here?”

 

“I was just running some errands in the city,” he answers, pecking a tender kiss on the same lips Seunghyun had tangled in Youngbae’s mouth not minutes before. “Thought I’d stop by and say hi. Is everything alright here?”

 

Youngbae smirks and pushes off the wall.  “Just having a friendly chat, sweetheart. I gotta go back to practice.”

 

His hips sway more rhythmically than usual as he walks away and even with Daesung in his arms, Seunghyun can’t help but stare at Youngbae’s ass.

 

“You should call before you come next time,” Seunghyun says, eliciting a humorless snort from Seungri.

 

Daesung smiles up at Seunghyun, unsuspecting. Perfect. “Okay, I will. When will you be home today?”

 

“Now. I’m coming home now.”

 

This was a close call. Closer than ever before.

 

When they get home, Seunghyun and Daesung have sex on the living room couch and Seunghyun tries to not think about Youngbae.

 

Tries.

 

* * *

 

 

It always happens at the club.

 

“Wifey let you come out to play?”

 

Seunghyun’s got his hands firmly set on Youngbae’s hips as they both rock back and forth to the almost deafening hum of music.

 

“You’re supposed to be up on stage,” Seunghyun answers instead. He hates that Youngbae brings Daesung up, especially when they are grinding slow and dirty on the dance floor and he just knows he’s going to have Youngbae bent over the desk in his office in a matter of minutes.

 

Youngbae’s body does one of those sinful rolls that pushes his ass into Seunghyun’s hard-on. “You know I never play by the rules.”

 

Seunghyun’s breath catches. “Then why do I pay you?”

 

Youngbae doesn’t answer that one.

 

“My ex is here,” He says, reaching his arm up to hook onto Seunghyun’s neck and bring them even closer together.

 

“Which one?”

 

Youngbae’s laugh is bright and clear, it rings out even above the sound of the music and Seunghyun tries to be reasonable about the whole thing but sometimes he feels like he can’t live without that sound.

 

“The younger guy,” Youngbae answers, his breath coming in shorter bursts now because Seunghyun’s hands are inching closer and closer to the growing bulge in his tight jeans.

 

“Want me to send him a message?” The words come out almost without Seunghyun’s permission. Feeling possessive over the guy you’ve been having an affair with for almost a year makes about as much sense as having an affair in the first place.

 

Youngbae groans. “And what message would that be?”

 

“That you’re taken for the night,” Seunghyun whispers at Youngbae’s ear, relishing the way he can feel the younger man shiver and hoping it’s enough to cover his tracks.

 

Youngbae spins around in Seunghyun’s arms and looks up at him through heavy-hooded eyes. “Where do you want me?”

 

Seunghyun grins and pulls their hips flush together.

 

They meet in Seunghyun’s office ten minutes later and the older man gets lost in the rush to remove his suit jacket and his neatly pressed trousers and he thinks about how Daesung is the one who always makes sure that he’s put together but Youngbae is the one who breaks him apart.

 

Youngbae likes it rough.

 

Too rough, in Seunghyun’s opinion, but he gives it to him anyway.

 

No soft touches, no tender kisses, no declarations of forever love. Youngbae likes to be used. Likes to be bruised and hurt.

 

He always wants to pain to mix with the pleasure and Seunghyun felt so uncomfortable with it at first but now he’s got no problem slapping his ass so hard that the skin turns angry and red. No problem digging his fingertips into Youngbae’s hips hard enough to bruise or pulling on his hair so violently that sometimes he finds strands tangled in his hands afterwards.

 

Youngbae likes it rough and it makes a sick sort of sense because he’s really nothing more than a slutty little boy with oddly religious tattoos who has somehow taken over Seunghyun’s perfect life.

 

Except that he isn’t.

 

Because if it was just about the sex, if Youngbae really had nothing more to offer than his body, Seunghyun would have never even looked his way.

 

There’s something about Youngbae.

 

Something hiding under the surface of bravado and the devil-may-care attitude.

 

Whatever it is, Seunghyun’s so lost in it that he doesn’t even question when Youngbae asks him to hit him in the face. He balls up his fists, keeps fucking into his tight little body and obeys.

 

The next few days, Youngbae doesn’t wear his signature dark sunglasses in the club and while every coos and fusses over his black eye, he catches Seunghyun gaze and grins.

 

Seunghyun’s pretty sure Youngbae is certifiably insane, but he smiles back.

 

 

* * *

 

  
 

Seunghyun doesn’t usually fuck Daesung.

 

Fucking is too crass a word for what they do in their bed.

 

They make love. Sweetly. For hours.

 

Seunghyun loves the way Daesung trembles with emotion and a hint of nervousness despite the fact that they’ve been together for so many years.

 

They’re married, for god’s sake.

 

But Daesung’s breath still catches every time Seunghyun kisses him deeply, like he’s surprised. He still throws his arm over his eyes when the older man goes down on him because he’s still shy about this part.

 

It’s always like he’s new at this and it never ceases to amaze Seunghyun.

 

Daesung is angelic, thrashing in the soft, white sheets that always smell like fresh laundry and the lavender shampoo he always uses. His husky tone of voice still goes straight to Seunghyun’s dick and when the older man buries himself in his body, he always gasps out his name.

 

They way they come together is lovely. Perfect.

 

So perfect, and Seunghyun knows he’s a fucking bastard for cheating on him.

 

Daesung is perfect but it’s still not enough.

 

There is a darkness in Seunghyun.

 

He’s always had a morbid fascination with all things grim and dangerous and though Daesung brings radiance into the dark corners of his mind, the blackness always calls to him, always seduces him.

 

The darkness comes in the form of Youngbae.

 

“Seunghyun,” Daesung gasps suddenly. For a split second, Seunghyun thinks Daesung knows his thoughts have been drifting but then he realizes it’s impossible for him to know his mind.

 

“What is that?” Daesung asks, hips coming to a standstill. Seunghyun’s got him in his lap, in their lovely, perfect bed.

 

Daesung’s fingers run over Seunghyun’s left shoulder and suddenly he remembers.

 

It’s a bitemark.

 

Youngbae sunk his teeth into his shoulder the last time he came when they fucked.

 

“It’s nothing,” Seunghyun says, nervous as hell that Daesung’s gonna notice the imprint of teeth. “Had a weird itch and I scratched too hard.”

 

Daesung’s eyebrows knit together and Seunghyun’s so sure he knows, he probably knows, he has to know.

 

“You should be careful,” Daesung smiles warmly. “Want me to kiss it and make it better?”

 

He doesn’t wait for Seunghyun’s response before his pillowy lips are brushing against the sex injury that Youngbae caused and it’s absolutely awful.

 

But it turns Seunghyun on.

 

He flips them over, presses Daesung into the mattress and kisses him with abandon.

 

Tonight, they don’t make love. They fuck.

 

* * *

 

 

“Are you sleeping with my husband?”

 

Daesung is standing in front of Youngbae in a darkened, empty corner of the club. He came on the day he knows Seunghyun is too busy to notice he’s there, and he pulled Youngbae away from dance practice discreetly.

 

He knows Seunghyun’s cheating on him. He is naive about some things, but he’s not stupid. Seunghyun comes home smelling like someone else and he doesn’t reach for him in the darkness of their room anymore. At least, not the same way he used to.

 

Every time they kiss, it feels like an apology.

 

So, yes, Daesung knows. But it’s only now that he’s realized with who.

 

He expects the shorter man to deny it. Maybe cower and beg for forgiveness. What he doesn’t expect is for Youngbae to purse his lips defiantly and level a steady gaze at him.

 

“Yes,” he confirms, and Daesung feels like all the air has been sucked out of the room. He’s light-headed with disappointment.

 

“How long?” he hears himself ask. This question is important.

 

Youngbae just shrugs and crosses his arms. “I don’t think you want to know that, sweetheart.”

 

Daesung feels a jolt of fury. “This isn’t a fucking game,” he cries, shoving Youngbae into the wall. “He’s my husband. We’ve been together for years. We even talked about adopting a child. Do you even know that?”

 

Youngbae’s eyebrows lift a bit in surprise. “No, I didn’t know that.”

 

Daesung tries to control his breathing. There is a still and tense silence, broken only by the way Youngbae shifts uncomfortably. “I have to get back to practice, so…”

 

“Does he love you?”

 

Youngbae’s eyes widen and a strange look crosses his delicate features for a moment before the mask of couldn’t care less is set firmly back in place.

 

He smiles provocatively. “People don’t fuck me because they love me. They fuck me because I’m easy and because I’m damn good at it.”

 

Daesung is surprised to find that in the midst of all the pain and embarrassment caused by Seunghyun’s betrayal, there is a spark of desire. Youngbae looks up at him with a confident smirk and the way he bites his lip is strangely appealing. He can see the allure of the beguiling little man. He can see why Seunghyun is taken with him.

 

“I’ll tell you one thing, though,” Youngbae turns the tables seamlessly, slender fingers reaching up to tangle in Daesung’s chestnut-colored hair. “He’s a goddamn fool. If I had someone like you waiting for me at home, I’d never even let you leave the bed.”

 

Daesung is confused and aroused by Youngbae’s tactics and he knows it’s sick and wrong but he’s painfully hard and he suddenly wants the shorter man to just kiss him.

 

“If you were mine,” Youngbae tilts his head up to whisper sin into Daesung’s ear. “I’d let you do whatever you wanted to me.”

 

Daesung slaps Youngbae and the harsh sound echoes in the hallway.

 

Youngbae just grins as he touches his face. “Do it again,” he demands.

 

Daesung moves first. Rises to the challenge, not because he’s weak, but because he can think of no better way to deal with Seunghyun’s betrayal than to fuck his little sex toy.

 

He shoves Youngbae into the wall again, but this time, he keeps him in place with his own body and a searing kiss. He shoves his tongue into Youngbae’s mouth and way the other man’s lips part easily and willingly to let him inside makes Daesung's entire body hum with pleasure.

 

It's insane.

 

It's probably the most amoral thing Daesung's ever done.

 

It feels fucking good.

  
 

* * *

 

 

Youngbae feels good.

 

His legs wrapped around Daesung’s waist, his lips pecking burning kisses onto his neck.

 

His tight heat enveloping Daesung’s hard cock.

 

It all just feels so good and so bad and Daesung hates to give it up. He hates when Youngbae has to leave.

 

Currently, he’s on the plush carpet that Seunghyun picked out for their apartment and he’s got the dancer between his legs, sucking him hard and making him moan helplessly.

                   

 

His cell phone rings.

 

Daesung would normally ignore it at a time like this, but it’s Seunghyun calling. He pushes Youngbae away from his dick and the dancer makes a vague noise of disapproval but he sits up.

 

“Hi, sweetheart,” Seunghyun’s voice is low and sonorous, even though the phone. It still makes Daesung smile. It still brings up memories of being a teenager, crazy and in love with the wrong person.

 

“Hi, Seunghyun,” he says breathlessly. He doesn’t miss the way Youngbae’s eyes sparkle with mischief when he hears who Daesung is speaking with. He chuckles as he crawls over Daesung’s body.

 

“Are you okay? You sound out of breath.”

 

“I’m fine,” Daesung responds quickly as Youngbae licks a trail up his torso and starts to suck on his nipple. “I was just moving some furniture around. You usually don’t call this early.”

 

“Yeah, I know,” Seunghyun seems to believe Daesung’s flimsy excuse. “That fucker still hasn’t shown up to practice and we’re supposed to be working on his solo stage. I can’t really do anything until he gets here.”

 

Youngbae giggles, apparently having heard Seunghyun, and Daesung has to cover his mouth with his hand to quiet him down.

 

“Is there someone there?”

 

“No, just me.” Daesung struggles to keep his voice steady as Youngbae continues to press the flat of his tongue against his sensitive flesh.

 

“I thought I heard something...”

 

“Oh really? That's weird.”

 

“Yeah. Weird,” Seunghyun sighs and he sounds so tired and it makes Daesung feel unreasonably guilty. “Well, I have to go. I miss you, though. I love you.”

 

“Love you, too,” Daesung says, voice a bit softer than necessary. Even in the madness that has become their lives, it's still true.

 

Youngbae's already putting his clothes back on when Daesung hangs up. He's heading for the door, gym bag slung over his shoulder.

 

“He's gonna give me shit for this all day,” Youngbae says, but he smiles and Daesung knows that deep down, he likes that Seunghyun's always on his case.

 

He knows they're still fucking. Youngbae's never told him that they are and Daesung's never asked but he knows.

 

He wonders what they're like together. Are they as passionate and wild? Do they spend hours kissing and touching before they finally fuck? Does Youngbae whisper the same naughty things while nibbling on Seunghyun's ear?

 

“Youngbae,” Daesung asks when the dancer's hands are on the doorknob. “Aren't you going to kiss me goodbye?”

 

Youngbae smiles and it's like the dawn is breaking. He quickly drops his bag and runs into Daesung's arms. He kisses him with such exuberance and warmth and Daesung wonders how the same man who didn't think twice about having an affair with two married men can also kiss like that.

 

Daesung pulls back to look into Youngbae's eyes. He asks Youngbae what he wants to know, because in this fucked up, complicated web of lies, the one thing he knows for sure is that Youngbae will always tell him the truth. “Why me? You're already sleeping with Seunghyun. Why me, too?”

 

“You're a better kisser,” Youngbae grins, devilish and beautiful.

 

Daesung smiles. It feels good to win one against Seunghyun. He still loves him to death but he’s angry with him. That’s why he started fucking Youngbae.

 

This all started as a way to get back at his husband and now butterflies kick up in his stomach whenever Youngbae falls asleep in his arms. This is getting too dangerous.

 

“Then why are you still sleeping with him?” Daesung asks.

 

Youngbae bites his lip and cups Daesung’s still hard member through his jeans. “You don’t fuck like he does. He fucks me rough and hard and fast.”

 

Daesung gasps. “Is that what you want? You want me to fuck you hard?”

 

“I don't think you can handle me at my worst,” Youngbae is mouthing at Daesung’s neck but Daesung can sense the honesty in his words. This means something to him, too.

 

“I can fuck you hard, Youngbae,” Daesung warns, picking up the shorter man easily and walking across the living room into previously forbidden territory.

 

He throws Youngbae into the bed that he and Seunghyun have shared for years. “I can be rough.”

 

Youngbae looks up at him and parts his legs, invitingly. “Show me.”

 

Daesung does.

 

It’s quick and almost vicious and Daesung never thought himself capable of such lasciviousness.

 

Youngbae doesn’t make it to practice for another two hours.

 

* * *

 

There are bruises on Youngbae’s body that Seunghyun knows aren’t from his own hands.

 

Seunghyun feels like a fool for even caring. Youngbae fucks anyone with a pulse who’s willing to put up with his bullshit and Seunghyun shouldn’t feel possessive, he shouldn’t feel jealous.

 

He should just end it.

 

Especially because things with Daesung have unexpectedly taken a turn for the better. Daesung has some new hobby and Seunghyun isn’t the center of his universe anymore. He gives him space and room to breathe; he’s still as emotionally expressive and sweet as ever, but now there’s an edge to him.

 

A boldness.

 

He does things like call Seunghyun up in the middle of work and tell him that if he doesn’t make it home in the next half an hour, he’ll never have sex with him again.

 

Twenty-seven minutes later, Seunghyun’s got a speeding ticket and his head between Daesung’s toned thighs.

 

Things are definitely looking up.

 

For the past couple of months, Seunghyun’s mind has been working over time with jealousy over Youngbae and lustful thoughts about Daesung.

 

How he has enough room in his mind to run a successful club is a mystery even to him.

 

Seunghyun’s standing at the bar in the club. It’s close to midnight and he’s enjoying a glass of wine, smiling slightly because he’s thinking about what he wants to do with Daesung when he gets home.

 

That’s when Youngbae finds him.

 

“Seunghyun,” Youngbae croaks as he trips over his feet and stumbles into Seunghyun’s arms.

 

“Help me,” he whispers, lips brushing against the tall man’s ear as he clutches at his jacket.

 

Seunghyun’s heart misses a beat and worry claws at his insides. “Are you okay?”

 

“I think...someone spiked my drink--”  the words come out with a lot of effort from the dancer and his forehead is creased with anxiety.

 

“I--I’ve never...been this high,” Youngbae finally finishes his sentence. When he looks up at Seunghyun, his eyes are too bright and too sincere. He looks terrified.

 

Seunghyun believes him. Youngbae’s a lot of things but a drug addict is not one of them.

 

“Please help me,” Youngbae begs and the way he’s placing so much implicit trust in Seunghyun makes him feel so protective of the smaller man.

 

“It’s okay,” he soothes, holding Youngbae close. “It’s going to be okay, it’s going to pass. Do you know what it was?”

 

“No,” Youngbae whimpers, panicking as tears start to trickle down his cheeks. “Oh god, I hate this, I hate this so much.”

 

Seunghyun’s heart breaks for him.

 

Twenty minutes later, he manages to bring Youngbae to his office. The dancer’s usually graceful movements are clumsy and rigid. Seunghyun helps him to lay down in the couch that he purchased solely because constantly fucking Youngbae on the floor or on the desk was giving him back problems. He never intended it to be used for this.

 

Youngbae keeps muttering about how it’s too bright and he hates the light (It’s burning me, I swear it’s burning me) and Seunghyun has no choice but to turn off the lights and try to comfort Youngbae through his horrible trip.

 

Seunghyun finds a spot on the couch and Youngbae’s limbs wrap around him like he’s the only thing keeping him from drowning. His skin is clammy and cold, his hair is damp with sweat and his fingers twitch involuntarily against Seunghyun’s chest.

 

Youngbae whispers trembling apologies into Seunghyun’s crisp, white dress shirt and he looks like a lost child. Seeing him like this--no attitude, no self-assured smile, no poise in his steps--is doing terribly confusing things to Seunghyun.

 

They fall asleep in the office and by the time Seunghyun wakes up, Youngbae’s already gone.

 

Three days later, Seunghyun catches sight of Daesung and Youngbae making out in a dark corner of the club, in the middle of the one day a week that Seunghyun usually never has time to even leave his office. He gulps.

 

Daesung’s new hobby and the reason for Youngbae’s hushed, repeated I’m sorrys when he was stoned out of his mind are suddenly perfectly clear.

  
 

* * *

 

 

Daesung knows what’s coming when Seunghyun gets home.

 

A week ago, Seunghyun suddenly stopped touching Daesung. No more kisses, no more holding hands, no more sex.

 

Nothing.

 

Seunghyun has barely spoken five words to him in the past week and Daesung is trying to be patient, trying to give Seunghyun time to figure out what he wants, but it hurts.

 

It hurts to love someone the way Daesung loves Seunghyun. So completely, despite every jagged flaw and every crushing disappointment.

 

Seunghyun’s not touching Youngbae, either.

 

Daesung knows because Youngbae comes harder and faster than ever before. He wrings his hands nervously every time they meet in secret, like his fingers have been itching to touch for too long.

 

When Seunghyun walks into the apartment, Daesung sits up, sets down the recipe book he’s been studying and gives his husband the best loving smile he can muster.

 

Seunghyun doesn’t even notice.

 

His eyes are downcast and his shoulders are slumped. He walks straight into the bedroom, not sparing a glance to the elaborate dinner Daesung has prepared in an attempt to coax him, or the man himself. Daesung suddenly feels enraged.

 

He follows Seunghyun into the bedroom they’ve both spent so much time and effort trying to make absolutely perfect, readying himself for confrontation.

 

“Are we going to talk about this?” Daesung asks, giving up all pretense.

 

Seunghyun just sighs. “What is there to say?”

 

“The truth, for one thing. You cheated on me.”

 

Seunghyun sits on the bed. Loosens his tie. Daesung’s never seen him look quite this exhausted.

 

“I am so sorry, Daesung. You deserve better than that. So much better. I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”

 

Daesung tries to keep his anger boiling because he knows his heart will betray him. He knows that if Seunghyun looks at him with his serious eyes, Daesung will deflate. He’ll want nothing more than to put a smile on that handsome face, like he has for so many years, and he’ll ignore the fact that Seunghyun has ruined everything because he’s such a selfish bastard.

 

Daesung squares his jaw and puts his hands on his hips. “How long have you been with him?”

 

Seunghyun chews on his bottom lip and keeps his gaze on his hands. “Almost a year.”

 

Daesung bristles indignantly. “A year, Seunghyun? You’ve been fucking him for a year?”

 

Seunghyun nods. Remains silent. Remains a coward. “Did you ever _once_ think about me? Did you ever think about how much it would hurt me? After everything that I’ve sacrificed for you. I left all my friends and family behind because you wanted a fresh start, you wanted to live without hiding, you wanted get married. I was perfectly content with the way things were but you said it wasn’t good enough, it wasn’t fair.”

 

Seunghyun winces like Daesung’s truth is causing him physical harm and Daesung is almost drunk with the power. This is what he wanted when he started to screw Youngbae. To make Seunghyun hurt as much as he has.

 

He wants this to be as real to Seunghyun as it is to him. “I have given up everything for you and the best you can do for me is to find someone else to hurt.”

 

Seunghyun’s eyes suddenly widen. “What does he tell you? Do you both just talk about me? Fuck each other while laughing at me?”

 

He stands up, draws himself up to his full height. Seunghyun’s showing more real emotion than he has in a long time and Daesung suddenly remembers why he fell in love with him in the first place. Seunghyun has always been unpredictable, like a summer lightning storm. The kind of boy who kisses you on the swings at the playground and who grabs your hand in the middle of the night, asks you to fly away with him.

  

He is the kind of man who still calls you his sweetheart, after so many years.

 

Daesung never stood a chance.

 

“I am sorry that I hurt you, sweetheart. There aren’t enough words to express how sorry I am. I swear to you, I will never forgive myself for it. But don’t stand there and pretend like you didn’t get your hands dirty, too.”

 

“You started it,” Daesung spits back. Ever since being with Youngbae and his intoxicating push and pull banter during sex, Daesung has become daring.

 

“Yes, I did. But you’re the one that ended it.”

 

The words hang in the air and in the strained silence that follows, a kind of clarity comes over Daesung. He realizes that there’s no going back. Nothing will ever be the same.

 

“Do you love him?” Daesung asks, because he’s wanted to know that since the beginning.

 

Seunghyun takes a deep breath. He doesn’t say anything for a long time and Daesung thinks that his silence is an answer in and of itself.

 

“I love him, too,” Daesung says, voice quieter. His anger a bit tempered because if Seunghyun was only using Youngbae than everything really _would_ be over. Daesung could never love someone who gives themselves away so easily.

 

“You can have him,” Seunghyun says, moving to their shared closet to pull out his largest suitcase.

 

“Don’t talk about him like that. Like he’s just a plaything.”

 

“I just don’t want to fight anymore. I don’t want to keep sneaking around and I don’t want you to be unhappy. I just want you to be happy, Daesung. It’s always been the most important thing.”

 

“Stop packing your things and sit down. I need you to listen.”

 

Seunghyun narrows his eyes, but he does as he's told.

 

“I love him. And I love how I am when I’m with him,” Daesung smiles a bit, thinking of the way that Youngbae makes him feel so young. He’s always adventurous and wild when he’s tangled up in Youngbae’s legs.

 

“But I love you, too, Seunghyun,” Daesung continues, voice wavering with emotion. “I have loved you since I was seventeen years old and I haven’t once stopped.”

 

“I don’t understand what you’re saying,” Seunghyun frowns.

 

“I’m saying that it was too much before. Remember? Sometimes, I felt like my love for you was going to swallow me whole. But now...now I can manage it. Now, I just.” He sighs. Tries again. “I think what we were always missing, what we always needed, was some balance.”

 

“This has all gotten out of hand. It’s too complicated,” Seunghyun shakes his head.

 

Daesung walks over to Seunghyun and wraps his arms around Seunghyun’s waist. “I love you and I love him, too. Maybe it doesn’t have to be any more complicated than that.”

 

Seunghyun gives him a small smile and Daesung can feel him relaxing in his arms. The taller man leans down and makes their foreheads touch. “So what? You get him on weekends and I pick him up after school?”

 

Daesung laughs a bit. He’s been thinking about this for a while. He doesn’t want to give up either of his men, and he thinks that it’s about time he got what he wanted. It’s about time he was a little selfish, too.

 

“Seunghyun,” he purrs as he smiles up at him. “I’ve always been very good at sharing.”

 

 

* * *

 

 

Youngbae’s just finished his solo stage, and he’s pressed up close to Jiyong in a sea of gyrating bodies because once the music makes its way into his bones, he can’t stop moving to the beat. Jiyong is smiling widely because Seungri is home sick with the flu and he’s always loved dancing with Youngbae, too.

 

“So is it over? Your little foray into married life?” Jiyong jokes.

 

Youngbae barks out a laugh; he’s already had five drinks to try to cover up how much he misses Seunghyun’s touch and his crooked smile. He misses Seunghyun but he’ll never admit it. There are things in Youngbae’s past that have made him jaded and unbreakable. Tough. Hard to like.

 

Impossible to love.

 

He’ll never admit that the last two months, waking up to Daesung’s deep kisses and knowing that in a few hours, he’ll have Seunghyun’s wolfish grin making its way down his torso has been…

 

It’s been lovely. It’s been perfect.

 

It’s meant the world.

 

But Seunghyun probably knows now, considering how he hasn’t spoken to Youngbae in a week. Seunghyun and Daesung’s marriage is probably over and for the first time in years, Youngbae feels remorse. He feels guilt.

 

He should have never gotten involved with either of them.

 

“Well, don’t look now, but your man’s on his way. I’ll see you later.” Jiyong disappears into the crowd.

 

Youngbae feels familiar bony hands making their way towards his hips and the faint scent of Seunghyun’s favorite cologne--the one Daesung bought him on their first wedding anniversary that smells masculine and seductive--drifts into his nose and Youngbae groans because god, he’s missed those hands.

 

“Wifey let you come out to play?” Youngbae says, craning his head to get a good look at Seunghyun. Seunghyun’s smiling like he knows something he shouldn’t.

 

Suddenly, Youngbae feels someone cup his chin and force him to look straight ahead. Straight into Daesung’s face.

 

Youngbae sucks in a breath. He thinks maybe his past has finally caught up to him. Youngbae hopes they’re not both here to kill him.

 

“You know I hate that little nickname of yours,” Daesung says.

 

He’s smiling and pressing closer, so maybe Youngbae’s fears about the couple murdering him are a bit irrational. _Maybe_.

 

“What are you doing here?”

 

Daesung’s lips press against his. “We want you, Youngbae.”

 

The alcohol coursing through Youngbae’s body and the way he’s caught between two hard bodies, swaying softly to the beat, makes it so that it takes him a couple of seconds to fully register Daesung’s words.

 

“Both of you?” Youngbae asks breathlessly as Daesung’s hands stroke his hair.

 

“At the same time. Will you have us?” Seunghyun’s rumbling, deep voice asks at Youngbae’s ear.

 

“Oh, _fuck_ yes,” Youngbae grins and he tugs on Daesung’s neck to kiss him ferociously.

 

Somewhere between an hour and an infinity later, Youngbae’s in their perfect bed, writhing and fisting the sheets because Daesung’s sinful lips are wrapped around his hard cock and Seunghyun’s thin fingers and pumping in and out of him, building a steady rhythm that makes him see stars.

 

“You’re so pretty,” Seunghyun keeps whispering and Youngbae wonders how he knows that that’s all he’s ever wanted to be. He wants to be pretty on the outside because he’s so damn ugly and tainted on the inside.

 

Youngbae wants to tell him to stop, he wants to tell him to be the bastard he knows him to be, because this version of Seunghyun is too much like Daesung and he doesn’t think he can handle them both being so damn sweet. He wants to say it, but he can’t get the words out and he doesn’t think they’ll listen to him anyway.

 

They’re taking this so slow; with Daesung pressing the softest kisses into his skin and Seunghyun whispering the most tender words, it’s the exact opposite of rough.

 

He doesn’t want to like this, but he does. He loves this.

 

Daesung decides it’s enough. He leans up and reaches for a condom. Along the way, Seunghyun mouth finds his and they kneel on the bed, above Youngbae, naked as the day and kissing each other madly. Seunghyun’s hand strokes Daesung’s cheek and when they part, Daesung gives the most beautiful smile. Youngbae’s heart aches because this whole thing is so divine.

 

Beautiful, like Daesung’s smile and Seunghyun’s darkness. They are like two halves of the same whole and Youngbae kind of hates how much he likes them. He needs them both and he can't imagine having one without the other. Not anymore.

 

“Are you ready?” Daesung asks, and Youngbae nods. He lies on his back as Daesung buries himself into him and Seunghyun watches them, hypnotized. It makes Youngbae sigh indulgently.

 

Daesung rocks into him, unhurried and sensual. Seunghyun kisses Youngbae’s temple before positioning himself behind Daesung.

 

Youngbae almost can’t believe this part is really happening, until Daesung’s eyes widen and he groans deeply, low in his throat. And just like that, Seunghyun takes charge. He thrusts into Daesung, which makes him cry out and pump deeper into Youngbae.

 

Daesung’s caught between them, his slippery hands are tangled with Youngbae’s as Seunghyun kisses his shoulder and the back of his neck.

 

They’re so deep inside him, deeper than anyone’s ever been, deep in his body and deep in his heart and he hates himself for not being good enough for them and for being foolish enough to let them think he is.

 

He doesn’t belong here. He belongs dead in a ditch, at the dangerous rate he’s going. The way he’s been letting dark strangers be too rough with him because he doesn’t want to admit to himself that Seunghyun and Daesung are the only ones he really wants.

 

Daesung comes first, because he’s overstimulated with pleasure, and Seunghyun tumbles after him, chest heaving and breath catching. They pull out of Youngbae gingerly and they kiss each other for a long time.

 

“I love you,” they whisper to each other and Youngbae feels traitorous tears start to sting at his eyes.

 

“Oh, baby,” Daesung soothes, when he notices Youngbae’s eyes are shimmering with tears. “We love you, too.”

 

He slots himself next to Youngbae and drags his lips across his face, his chest, his shoulder. He wraps himself around the smaller man and nuzzles his neck.

 

Seunghyun kisses him, too, before shifting lower on the bed and spreading Youngbae’s legs. He pecks little kisses on his still-hard cock and then looks up at him.

 

“We do,” he says, his tone serious, leaving no room for protest. “We love you.”

 

Seunghyun’s mouth wraps around him, and Youngbae wants to cry because he believes them.

  

When he comes, he murmurs senselessly against Daesung’s mouth.

 

Daylight comes several hours later and when Youngbae awakes, Seunghyun is snoring softly and Daesung’s eyes are moving rapidly under closed eyelids, like he’s dreaming. Youngbae can’t tell where he ends and the other two begin. This is too dangerous, too complicated, too strange, but the sight of these two men in the morning sunlight makes Youngbae’s heart clench in his chest.

 

He thinks maybe he loves them, too.

 

Maybe tangled up in a chaos of sweaty limbs and messy hearts, right between Daesung's inner light and Seunhyun's shadows, is exactly where Youngbae belongs.

 


End file.
